thereadysext:

If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.

(Source: racingbarakarts, via fuckyeahtxtposts)

sirbombalot:

Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart, then they have to deal with the bees.

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

cokeproblem:

The first person to discover static electricity must have been shocked

(Source: 210pm, via fuckyeahtxtposts)

big-burrito:

world’s okayest friend

(Source: vaginaed, via fuckyeahtxtposts)

katara:

whens the last time these rich ass celebrities used a paper plate 

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

markkruffalo:

when cute boys initiate conversation with you

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

(Source: joshuadunzo, via fuckyeahtxtposts)

5by5kevin:

Roses are red
And true love is rare
Booty booty booty booty
Rockin’ everywhere

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

peach94:

COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me

(Source: velvetun, via fuckyeahtxtposts)

andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

whorville:

Science side of tumblr why am I so hot

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)