homosassy:

the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am

(via verybesttextposts)

1,060,866 notes

feistyfrank:

lordoftheinternet:

there is actually nothing worse than the prices of plane tickets

hitler though

(via verybesttextposts)

218,530 notes

grumpysalmon:

shout out to water for keeping my throat sufficiently lubricated for optimal yodeling techniques

(Source: grumsal, via verybesttextposts)

916,900 notes

rumour:

That boy u just called racist? His mom took away his Beats Headphones last week. Think before u speak

(via verybesttextposts)

228,159 notes

carbysorangeshirt:

*dies in flappy bird* *looks directly at the camera like i’m on the office*

(via librawife)

128,168 notes

officialunitedstates:

“What does the chef recommend?”

“Sir, this is a mcdonalds”

(via librawife)

883,173 notes

w-for-wumbo:

mylourrydiary:

hlil:

Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Plants

Can you believe there is love that is illegal
Love

can you believe it’s not butter
butter

(Source: thefirstdayofhalloween, via best-text-posts)

1,697,926 notes

highkeygay:

when fergie was like ‘are you ready for this’ in the beginning of london bridge i truly wasnt

(via best-text-posts)

88,322 notes

baelor:

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

I LIVE IN A HOUSE

(Source: sleape, via best-text-posts)

1,024,635 notes

ellendegeneresofficial:

oomshi:

“out with the old, in with the new” i say as i replace my tampon

youre a boy

(via best-text-posts)

121,901 notes