impwhoretant:

impwhoretant:

I’M CLEAN

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i took

a shower

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getbird:

IT’S ABOUT BUYING HOMES IN NUDIST COLONIES AND IT IS WORTH WATCHING JUST FOR THE CAMERA ANGLES

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LIKE REALLY??

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REALLY

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how long did it take you to line that shot up

ANYWAYS IT’S A LAUGH AND A HALF 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND IF YOU ARE FEELING DOWN

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efaj:

caliliope:

bitchyteen:

everyone has that one bra that makes everything okay

even the boys?

We have that one brah that makes everything okay

(Source: deathreats, via best-text-posts)

fake-mermaid:

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you know they dead

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vvankinq:

narcimallows:

hamburgay:

blinking is like clapping for your eyes

just remember that ur eyelids are always applauding u and cheering u on even if nobody else is

This website is so inspirational

(Source: blank, via best-text-posts)

trillow:

my cat licked my forehead and then tapped it with her paw i think i just got baptised

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necrophilofthefuture:

buying fake followers on social media is like speaking to a crowded room except everyone is dead

(Source: necrophilofthefuture, via best-text-posts)

saladder:

people who bite ice cream with their front teeth are on a whole different level

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officersneepsnop:

the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself

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marlborodiamonds:

sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star

(via best-text-posts)